Bruno Mars' Hair

While the Seahawks were liberating freedom from Broncos for all the birds in the world, one thing remained the same, Bruno's Mars' hair. Insofar as interceptions were black plaguing Payton Manning, and making him feel as flustered as a Toddlers and Tiara's mom that lost her makeup bag, one thing remained the same, Bruno's hair. His hair was so perfectly parted with just the right amount of divine sweat and devilish grease. It was reaching deep within the fiery chasms of the deepest ocean. It fell far beyond the tarnish of an internet predator that lost his computer. It defied gravity, and Obamacare. It stayed the night at Sandusky's house and didn't get diddled. It brought its sleeping bag, and roasted marshmallows. Investing in Bruno Mars' hair is like investing in Apple in its IPO stage. His part parted the Red Sea so that all the Seahawks could walk with their tiny legs in a smug way like they own the place. That's why the Seahawks won. That's why we watch. In hindsight we all thought we were watching the Super Bowl because of the game. This was because of Bruno Mars' hair's humility.  In contrast, Peyton's hair is slightly above average. Seriously, nothing to brag about, but not bad.